I’m leading  group of (mostly) women in an online group where we learn why it’s a consideration to give up alcohol, sugar, grains, legumes, soy and dairy for 30 days.  It’s modeled after the Whole 30 (a very popular way of eating right now and a way to get back to health amidst all the chaos in the nutrition world).  So, when the question arose, “Can I weigh myself during the program?”, I took pause.   I treat all eating plans as individual much like I acknowledge that everyONE is an individual with slightly different needs, desires and goals.  We all have a slightly different physiology and level of activity we need to fuel and we each have a different predisposition to disease and other chronic conditions that can be managed with lifestyle.

As a former teacher, I can tell you that my life has revolved around external validation and promoting of such.  It’s just a fact.  The system worked for me and being a people pleaser and permission seeker was always my comfort zone.  It’s OK, there are many of us out there I’ve come to discover!  But along with that mode of operation comes a disconnect– when we seek approval from others over and over and live by that, it’s easy to lose touch with our innate wisdom–our own “internal compass” as I so fondly call it.  And when this question about using a scale came up, it was reminder of that remnant…that if we fit within a certain range of numbers–a description that society says is OK, then we are OK…and that is what we so often strive for.

You do not need an external device or person to tell you what is OK.

You know.

You do.

You know right from wrong.

And you know how healthy feels.

Look, the numbers on a scale are one piece of data and truthfully, even though formal “Whole 30” rules say you “should not” weigh yourself during the 30 days, I’m NOT a certified Whole 30 coach and in fact, don’t think it matters much if you want to weigh yourself or not.  In fact, I’ve hopped on the scale myself so one could say I have broken the “official rules”.  But this leads me to a bigger question.

How do YOU define success?

And I ask this because it can be applied to almost every area of a balanced life and it’s more important than following most rules.  (Yes, MOST rules.  Some are non negotiable, right?)

You have so many incredible options for defining success…

-What does success in an eating program look like to you?  Is it about losing weight, having energy, feeling vibrant?

-What does a successful career look like?  Is it about prestige and power or is it about making connections?

-How do you know that you have a successful relationship?  Is it about time spent together or knowing exactly how your partner will cringe at the two foods they hate most (onions and mushrooms for my husband by the way…)

Not sure what feels right to you? Not sure where to draw the line or create boundaries or accept actions from others?  Start with yourSELF.  You don’t need someone else to validate who you are or what you do.

I love the quote by Regina Brett,”What other people think of you is none of your business.”.  What do YOU think?  Are you happy with YOU?  If you are not…it’s time to make a change.  And if you need a measurement or piece of data to help you determine if you are on the right track…by all means, access that.  Xo

And I’m curious…how do YOU define success?